Recovery isn't a straight line.

Recovery is usually a series of steps forward and back, each offering opportunities to grow and learn.

Lapses are a common and difficult part of eating disorder recovery -- those moments when a person slips back into old emotions, mindsets, and behaviors and worries that they’ve “messed everything up.” Many people believe recovery should look like a straight line — struggling, then steadily getting better without slipping backwards. But real recovery is usually much more human than that.

Recently, I worked with someone who had been doing well in her recovery. She had become more comfortable in her body, less afraid of food, and less consumed by body image thoughts. But when a couple of her friends started quickly losing weight, talking more about dieting and appearance, something old got activated inside of her. Her insecurities started building. She began comparing herself again, feeling “not good enough,” and instead of reaching out for support, she tried to carry those feelings alone. Before long, she slipped back into the restrict-binge eating cycle that defined her eating disorder.

In session, she felt ashamed and discouraged. She believed that she had lost her progress. But instead of treating the lapse as failure, we slowed down and looked at it as information. What did this experience reveal about her needs?

What became clear was that recovery for her was not just about food behaviors — it was also about learning not to quietly shoulder insecurity, comparison, and self-doubt by herself. She needed support. She needed trusted people to know what she was feeling so that they could help ground her, remind her of who she is beyond weight, and help her challenge the painful thoughts that were starting to spiral internally. The setback became an opportunity to strengthen a part of recovery that still needed her care and attention.

This is often how healing works. A set back does not erase growth. Sometimes it shines light on the exact place where more support, compassion, connection, or honesty is needed. Recovery is not perfection. It is the willingness to notice when we’ve drifted, speak up to our helpers and reconnect with coping skills and support, so that we move forward once again.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a lapse in recovery and could use support, reach out to a trusted other or set up a free consult with one our therapists. We're here to help.